


I'll never let you go

by Chizuru_2120



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: M/M, P: Ninomiya Kazunari/Matsumoto Jun, T: I'll never let you go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-02
Updated: 2012-05-02
Packaged: 2020-03-07 19:38:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18879880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chizuru_2120/pseuds/Chizuru_2120
Summary: Sho take for granted. Jun is the replacement. And does Nino selfish?





	I'll never let you go

Jun just finished his drama shooting and ready to get a rest when he meets with Sho at the studio corridor. Jun smiles at his band mate and Sho immediately smile back before walking with Jun to the green room.  
“What bring you here Sho- kun?” Jun asks as he sits on the couch there.  
“How do you know that I need your help?”  
“I know you too well Sho, just say it,” Jun rubs his tired face before digging for his phone in his bag.  
“Can you please accompany Nino to the movie tonight?”  
“What? Again? You can’t keep doing this to Nino, Sho.”  
“Please Jun, I thought I will be free tonight and then Zero comes up suddenly. I need to cover for the news, it’s important,” Sho pleads. Jun just sighs.  
“Then you can just cancel the plan. I think Nino will understand if you have work to do.”  
“I can’t cancel it. I already bought the tickets and Nino is so excited about this movie.”  
“But Nino will still be upset if it’s me to go with him. Don’t you think that he just want to spend the time with you?” Jun can already imagine Nino’s sad eyes when he sees Jun instead of Sho later. It pains in his heart to see Nino in the state again.  
“Please Jun. The movie is in an hour and I need to go to the location now.”  
Jun sighs again before nodding his head. Sho thanks him repeatedly and hands him the tickets before making his way out. Jun stares at the tickets in his hand and sighs again.  
After changing his clothes, Jun grabs all his belonging and walks to the train station. When he arrives at the cinema, Nino is already there. Jun’s heart beating faster seeing Nino in his guise clothes and still manages to look good. Nino smiles as he sees Jun but turns sad as he realizes the reason that Jun is there.  
“Hi Jun- kun. Sho sends you here right?”  
“Yes. He’s really sorry Nino, he got news to cover,” Jun says and feels a pang of guilt in his heart to see Nino’s sad face.  
“Well, it can’t be help then. I’m glad you are here with me J,” Nino says as he grabs Jun’s hand and guides him to the cinema. Jun can see clearly that Nino is so upset.  
“I’m so excited to see this movie Jun- kun. I hope you will enjoy this kind of movie too,” Nino says as they sit on their seat.  
“I think I will love this movie too,” Jun smiles and can see clearly that Nino doesn’t care at all about the movie, he just want to spend his time with Sho but clearly Sho can’t see that. Jun can’t help wondering how many times already that Sho doing this and send him instead to accompany Nino in the past. Recently it becomes too often that Jun can’t help to feel guilty too whenever Nino is upset. He just wants Nino to be happy and he still has his hope upon Sho to make it happen. When Sho and Nino first announced that they’re dating, Jun, Ohno and Aiba can’t help but feel happy for them. They also always help them to cover the relationship from the media. But when they’re in their third year together, Sho always so busy and rarely spend his time with Nino anymore.  
“J, what are you thinking? Come on, the movie already end,” Nino’s voice snaps Jun from his thinking and Jun nods and follows Nino to leave the cinema. They grab the hamburger on the way home and Nino chats happily with him and Jun just knows that Nino wants to hide his sadness. After sends Nino home, Jun heads home with his head full of Nino and Sho.  
*  
Jun smiles as he sees Nino being so happy today. It already three weeks since the last time they went to the movie together. Jun is glad when Sho manages to make it up to Nino. Jun wonders if there’s any occasion today as Nino being jumpy all day although Sho isn’t here with them. Today it’s just the two of them to record Himitsu VIP limousine.  
“Why are you so happy, brat?” ask Jun after they finished the recording.  
“It’s a secret,” Nino grins and Jun can’t help to smile with him.  
“Okay, don’t tell me, but I know it’s surely involving Sho.”  
“It’s for sure right? Who else I will be happy for?”  
“Yeah, I know,” Jun can’t help but to feel a strange feeling as Nino said it.  
“Then, I will go first, see you tomorrow J,” Nino waves before making his way out and Jun just stares at the leaving shadow.  
After finishes changing his clothes, Jun meets his manager and they grab a dinner before his manager send him home. Jun immediately takes a bath as soon as he arrives and decides to just sleep although it’s still early. He is already asleep when his phone rings. Jun growls and decides to ignore the call. When his phone rings for the third time already, Jun grabs his phone and looks for the caller id. When he sees Nino’s name there, he immediately sits on his bed before taking the call.  
“Nino, what happened?” Jun panics ad he hears Nino’s sobs.  
“J….” Nino cries become louder and Jun immediately leaves the bed.  
“Where are you? I will go to you.”  
“I’m at the Ship,” Nino hoarse voice makes Jun worrier.  
“Wait for me there. Don’t go anywhere,” Jun snaps the phone off and getting ready to leave. He grabs his keys and drives to the restaurant that Nino mentioned. As he arrives there, he searches for the shorter man and finds him at the deserted corner of the restaurant. Jun rushes there and brings the crying Nino to his hug. Nino immediately clings to him.  
After making sure that Nino is alright, Jun guides him to his car and heads home. During the drive, Nino just keeps silent and sometimes sobs. Jun’s heart clenches tightly seeing Nino so broken this time. Jun keeps wondering what he can do to make Nino smiles again. They arrive at Nino’s house but Nino remains in his seat. Jun sighs and slowly guides Nino again to his house. Once inside, Jun sits them on the couch.  
“Today is our anniversary,” Nino says suddenly.  
“But he didn’t come,” Nino cries again and Jun hugs him again. Jun’s inside is boiling with anger at Sho. He is so mad at Sho to not treasuring what he has. If Jun has Nino, he will always treasure the older man because he realizes now that Nino is so precious to him.  
*  
When Jun arrives at the green room the next day, Sho and Nino are already there. A strange feeling creeps into Jun when he sees Nino’s head on Sho’s laps with Sho’s hand playing with Nino’s hair. Guess Sho manages to make it up to Nino already of yesterday. Jun’s mood suddenly drops and he can’t help but sulking at the corner of the green room. When Aiba and Ohno arrive, they can see clearly Jun’s foul moods and decides to stay away from the youngest member.  
When the staff calls them for the recording, Jun tries to enlighten his mood and smiles throughout the recording. However, he continues to sulk when Sho and Nino being extra lovely today and no matter what the guest of the rest of the members do, Jun can only smiles to hide the strange feeling. But he can smile well when he sees Nino is happy.  
When Nino is happy, Jun is happy too and it makes Jun wonders since when that Nino’s smile becomes so important to him. Since when does that all he wants to see is Nino’s happy smile. Why does he feel angry when Sho made Nino sad and why does he feels jealous when Sho is together with Nino? Why does he feel like he wants to keeps Nino all to himself?  
Those questions keep on lingering in his mind throughout the day. Jun refuses to answer those questions because deep in his heart, he already knows the answers.  
Jun snaps from his thoughts when Nino’s hand touches his shoulder. Jun turns to him and Nino signals Jun to take place on pushing the button of the giant crush. Jun nods and Nino smiles gently at him before making his way towards the edge around the giant. Jun hears the other four and the plus one guest fighting over which number to push. They keep arguing until at the end of the given time, Jun pushes the last number that he hears from Aiba. Unfortunately the giant falls and the others immediately run away from it but Nino slips on his feet and falls under the falling giant. Jun manages to see all that and despite his trembling figure his adrenalin brought him to Nino in record time. He tries to grabs Nino but realizes it’s already too late, so he shields the smaller man instead. He hears screaming sounds before something crash on him. Luckily, it just the giant’s hand and the staffs manage to help them to reduce the effect of the falling. Jun immediately checks on the trembling Nino.  
“Nino, are you okay?” Jun grabs Nino’s cheeks and stares at his eyes. Nino just keeps silent before Jun repeat the question and Nino nods. Jun can’t feel anymore relieve. Suddenly, the others come and Jun lost Nino when Sho brings him to his arms. Aiba and Ohno turn to him after checking on Nino and one staff gives Jun a bottle of water. The shooting stops and they continue it for the other day.  
*  
The next day, Jun’s manager arranges the schedule to start a bit late for Jun although Jun insists that he’s alright. When he goes to shoot for his drama on the evening, he tries to cheer up and manages to when he meets with his hilarious co- actors. Jun manages to stay like that for the rest of the day and they manage to finish the shooting early.  
After changing to his normal clothes, Jun checks on his phone to see that they are so many missed calls from Sho and mails. Jun checks on the mails and immediately run to his manager before hopping on the car. He thanks his manager when he arrives and almost run to the apartment. When he arrives in front of the apartment, Jun repeatedly knocks before the door opens slowly.  
“Nino!” Jun grabs the weak Nino and carries him back to the bed. Jun puts Nino on the bed and put on the blanket. He touches Nino’s forehead to find its burning.  
“J,” Nino calls him with his teary eyes and it’s clenches Jun’s heart painfully.  
“Try to sleep Nino. I will make a soup for you,” Jun drops a kiss on Nino’s forehead.  
“I don’t want soup, I just want Sho,” Nino starts to cry and Jun knows that Nino is more sensitive when he sick so Jun tries really hard to keep his anger towards Sho and a little annoyed feeling for Nino wanting Sho.  
“He got job to do Nino, I will take care of you before he come back okay?” Jun says gently and wipes Nino’s wet cheeks. After a while, Nino nods and slowly drifting to sleep with Jun patting his head. Jun starts to make the soup and keeps on checking on Nino before he himself slowly drifting to sleep besides Nino.  
*  
“J, do you have any plan after this?” Nino asks when they’re changing the clothes in the green room. Jun shakes his head and makes a questioning face towards Nino.  
“Can you accompany me to the supermarket after this? I need to stock on my groceries.”  
“Hmmm, okay I guess,” Jun wants to ask more why Nino doesn’t go with Sho instead but he gets the answer when Sho run from the green room while talking on his phone. Guess it’s work again.  
“Nino, Nino, Nino, I want to go to!” Aiba chirps and put his arm on Nino’s shoulder only to be smack by the brat instead.  
“No, you can’t go Aiba, I don’t want to go with you,” Nino glares at Aiba sternly; making Aiba pouts and go to Ohno.  
“Oh- chan, Nino hates me,” Aiba complains to Ohno only to get a gentle smile from their leader. Jun goes to Aiba and smacks his head.  
“Don’t you remember that you have your drama shooting after this?” Jun says when Aiba’s pout become longer when Jun smacks his head.  
“Ah, you’re right Matsujun! I forget! Yabai! I’m already late!” Aiba hits his own head before quickly grabs his things and heads out from the green room.  
“Do you want to join us Oh- chan?” Nino asks Ohno who shakes his head, saying something about he got his plan.  
“So, let’s go J. Bye bye Oh- chan!” Nino grins and kisses Ohno’s cheeks. Jun sulks seeing that action but stop later when Nino grabs his hand to leave the green room.  
“Bye leader, see you tomorrow!” Jun greets his leader and Ohno smiles and waves at the pair.  
*  
When Jun gets home that night, he is almost skipping. He is so happy to spend more time with Nino. After the supermarket trip, Jun helps Nino with his groceries to Nino’s apartment and Jun offers to cook and it makes Nino jumps and hugs Jun in happiness, making Jun’s heart beating faster and faster. They chats happily through the dinner and after the dinner, they plays games before Jun decided to go home as it’s already too late. Nino offers him to spend the night there but Jun manages to give excuses saying that he needs to work early tomorrow and other things he need to do. In fact, he’s dying to stay but he doesn’t believe himself to not making any move on Nino. Not when Nino is still in love with Sho.  
Jun tries to keep on distance from Nino but it doesn’t make any good because Sho keeps on asking him to accompany or help Nino with various things. Nino becomes more often asking for his help too and it is bad for Jun because he become too used of Nino’s presence and Jun fall deeper in love with the brat. He and Nino spend more time lately and Nino seems like he doesn’t care anymore if Sho isn’t there with him. Or it’s just Jun’s wild imagination.  
Jun becomes scared, too scared because at the end of the day, he knows, Nino isn’t his. He does still belong to Sho and never in his wildest dream that Nino will love him back. Jun knows, he’s just the replacement for Sho and when Sho come back, Jun doesn’t have any right to prevent him from taking Nino back. It pains Jun every single day he spends with Nino and it makes him greedy to just keep Nino by his side. He’s too used of seeing Nino’s bright smile directing to him, too used of Nino’s warmth besides him and too used of showering Nino with his love that Nino never aware of.  
*  
Today is Nino’s birthday and Jun has been smiling since morning, thinking of the plan he wants to do with the brat. Jun smiles and keeps Nino’s birthday present inside his bag. Today, the five of them will have a shooting together and Jun can’t wait to see Nino’s smile when he opens Jun’s present. Jun also thinking of brings Nino out for dinner later.  
During the recording, Nino has been smiling receiving the wishes from the members, the staffs, the guests and also the audience. Jun finds it’s so hard for him to turn his sight away from Nino because the brat is glowing. After the recording, Jun has imagining the plan in his head for Nino. After a small talk with the manager, he is the last to go back to the green room. As he pushes the door slightly, he hears Sho’s voice asking Nino’s out. Jun stops on his track before he runs to the nearest toilet.  
Of course, Nino will spend his birthday with Sho, what’s his thinking? Jun feels so stupid thinking that Nino will celebrate the birthday with him. Surely, Sho has been planning something special for Nino and surely Nino has been waiting for the surprise from Sho. Jun curses himself for being too lost in the dream of having Nino besides him and now it’s his own fault that he’s feeling hurt now.  
After calming himself down from the silent tears, Jun heads to the green room. Hopefully all the members already are going back. Jun doesn’t feel like seeing anyone right now. But as soon as he enters the green room, a punch lands on his face, making Jun tumbling behind and falls on the floor.  
“Jun!”  
Jun hears Nino’s voice and suddenly Nino is besides him, cupping his pain cheek. Jun opens his eyes to see a very angry Sho. Aiba and Ohno are beside him to prevent Sho from making any move towards Jun.  
“What the hell are you doing Sho?!” Nino screams as he shields Jun from Sho.  
“Oh, now he’s more important than me right?” Sho says and Jun just can see the scene clueless. Nino just keeps silent but he keeps on staring at Sho.  
“How dare you Jun? You’re my friend!”  
“What’s happen? You are the one that punch me Sho.”  
“How dare you!” Sho pushes Aiba and Ohno aside and jumps towards Jun.  
“Sho! Stop it!” Nino tries to stop Sho by grabbing his hand but Sho manages to land another punch on Jun. Ohno tries to grabs Sho again and Aiba remains at his stand. Sho grabs Jun’s collar this time and Jun just stay silent but still returning the glare that Sho gives him. Sho tries to give another punch but Nino beats him to it by slapping Sho hard. Sho falls besides Jun.  
“With you acting like this, I think I already make a right decision Sho,” Nino says and Jun can see how mad Nino is.  
“Nino, please, I love you, don’t do this to me,” Sho pleads and grabs Nino’s hands.  
“Sho, I don’t think you still love me.”  
“It’s not true! I love you.”  
“Then why you never there for me anymore when I need you the most?”  
“I’m sorry but please understand me; I’ve got works to do.”  
“So do I. But I always am trying to be there for you. When you came back home tiredly I try to ease all of your tiredness away even if I have an early job the next day.”  
“Nino, Kazu, please…”  
“I can understand your work Sho. And I don’t ask for you to only focusing on me, just be with me when I need you but even that you can’t do it for me. Am I still important to you Sho?”  
“You’re important Kazu. Please, don’t do this.”  
“When I’m sad, Jun is always there for me. When I’m sick, he’s the one that took care of me. And he always makes sure that I’m happy. He will always try to be here for me when I need him. He’s always tried to make time for me, even when he’s so busy himself Sho. He’s not only your replacement anymore Sho,” Jun feels so shock hearing Nino’s words and he feels so guilty seeing Sho in this state. Sho begins to cry as the realization of losing Nino hit him hard. Nino hugs Sho gently and wipes Sho tears.  
“I’m so sorry Sho. Forgive me, please and don’t blame Jun. He’s not the one to be blame.”  
Nino keeps on hugging Sho until Sho stops crying. Aiba and Ohno help Sho and they leave the green room. Sho turns only to see Nino’s sad eyes directing towards him and Sho realizes the love in Nino’s eyes for him has gone.  
“Are you okay Jun?” Nino goes to Jun after the three members leave to check Jun’s bruise cheeks.  
“I’m okay.”  
“I’m sorry Jun, you don’t deserve this,” Nino pats Jun’s cheek gently. Jun grabs Nino hands and stares at the lovely eyes.  
“What happened?” ask Jun, he still clueless about all the things that just happened to him.  
“Sho becomes angry when I said I want to spend today with you.”  
“Do you?”  
“Yes, and he lost it when I said I want to break up with him.”  
Jun’s eyes snaps wide hearing Nino’s words and Nino tries to avoid Jun’s stare.  
“And?” Jun asks again.  
“I want to be with you J,” Nino’s cheeks turn red as he said that and Jun’s can’t be anymore happier.  
“Why me?” Jun can’t help himself to ask because everything seems like a dream to him.  
“You’re the one that always besides me Jun. Even before all this recent happenings between me and Sho. Even before I’m with Sho. I just realize it now. You’re always besides me when I’m almost losing myself. You’re always here when I need someone. When the giant almost fell on me, you’re the one that rush to me Jun. Even Sho is nearer to me.”  
“Really?”  
“Yes, and I hate it that I can’t stop thinking about you.”  
Jun lost all his words. He can’t believe that he’s hearing all this right now. And Nino’s glowing face leaves him speechless. Jun never feel so happy like he is right now.  
“Jun, say something please. I’m worry here. Don’t you love me?”  
“You’re an idiot. Of course I love you brat,” Jun says and brings Nino tightly into his hug.  
*  
Now that Nino is his, Jun can’t help feeling guilty towards Sho. Although he’s so happy today he still doesn’t know how to face Sho. As he arrives at the green room, Nino is already there. Nino smiles at him and Jun returns the smile before dropping a kiss on his forehead. They chat and when Sho arrive Nino whispers to him that he need to talk to Sho. Jun nods and leaves the green room to the café.  
When he comes back, Nino says that Sho wants to talk to him and its Nino’s turn to leave the green room. Jun feels nervous thinking what he needs to say to Sho but as soon as he enters, Sho apologizes and Jun brings him to a hug. Jun hands Sho the coffee that he bought from the vending machine and they sit on the couch.  
“It is okay for me to be with Nino, Sho?” Jun asks after the silence.  
“It’s kind hard for me but last night I’ve been thinking. I can’t be selfish towards Nino. He deserves the best and it’s you. I realize all the mistakes that I made towards him.”  
“Sho…”  
“Nino asks me before whether he is selfish and he cries because he feels guilty towards me but I think I’m the one to be blame here. I take him for granted and I used works as an excuse. If he’s important to me, I will always find a way to make him happy right? And I used you to do things for him and I don’t have any right to be mad at you Jun. I’m sorry.”  
“I’m sorry too Sho. I shouldn’t fall for him when I know that he is yours.”  
“I understand Jun. It’s kind of hard not to fall for our brat there right?” Sho chuckles and Jun feels his heart become lighter seeing Sho getting better.  
“I still love him but he’s right, I put myself on my own priority and fail to see his hurt. I’m the worse.”  
“You aren’t Sho. You’re just doing your job.”  
“Yeah, but I forget the most important person in my life.” Sho sighs and Jun silently wishes that Sho will be happy. He can’t be happy with Nino if Sho isn’t happy.  
“It may be hard, but I will move on Jun. Please keep on rooting on me,” Sho smiles.  
“I will always pray for your happiness Sho. You’re still someone that I look up too.”  
“Thanks a lot Jun. Please take care of him and please be happy.”  
“I will Sho. I hope you too. Thanks a lot too.”  
Sho leaves later, saying that he wants to search for Ohno and Aiba. Nino come back to the green room a while later, smiling so bright as Jun brings him to his hug.  
“What is the thing that you talk with Sho, J?’  
“I can’t tell you. It’s a secret between men.”  
“Hey! I’m a man too!” Nino pouts and Jun kisses that pout away.  
“But I can tell you one thing,” Jun says later after they broke the kiss and Jun can’t help staring at Nino’s adorable flush face.  
“What? Tell me J!”  
Jun slowly brings Nino’s hand into his and kisses the hands without breaking their eye contact and says  
“I will never let go of this hands.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for making Sho the bad person here. I lost direction in several points in this fic, and try to finish it, so sorry for the poor result. Still hope you will enjoy it! :D


End file.
